Love is a conscious act, to really love another involves a level of mindfulness that, needless to say is not always this blissful state of mind and butterflies in the stomach. It takes a certain level of creativity and the ability to interpret another to create a balanced relationship between two beings. When I used to hear this word “love”, I only thought of it in terms of myself and my soulmate whom I’d spend the rest of my life with and this idea of love formed from my parents relationship, what
I had and have seen all my life. After experiencing love on my own in young adulthood I have come to realize it is something that lives inside of all relationships involved in your life: family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, someone you just passed on the street and even someone you despise or in more kind terms “don’t see eye to eye”.
Being complex beings wandering this Earth with the desire and need to love and be loved we must be able to find a balance between the two souls that encounter one another. What I have experienced more often then not is the majority of people have very little love for self and find themselves in these unbalanced relationships unable to let go because it would be like losing an actual limb off of their body.
We must allow ourselves to mature and use pieces of our past in which we have found vulnerability, anger, jealousy, etc. to observe and search out how to fill those voids with our own love and compassion before we allow another to do it for us. And this works vice versa.
As a trend throughout my life, I have always been able to treat the ones I love the most in a way in which I would never, ever want to or allow myself to be treated by another. It breaks my heart to even write that because I know how much hurt I have brought to others with my words and actions.
But the first step in learning to love and accept yourself is having the ability to recognize these negative qualities, look them straight in the eye, sit with them and maybe make them a cup of tea. Those demons that live within us will always be there, they are apart of our make-up, traits of our parents, their parents, the grandparents and wherever we all descended from. Ultimately, though, we are all just human beings of the same make-up with different demons.
Demons hate change and it is when you are so avidly trying to make a transition that they will show up in your home to tempt you with what you were and how much fun that time was… even when it really wasn’t that enjoyable at all. When we are beginning a new journey, looking to master something new, we must have the ability to let go of current parts of our life to make space for this new presence. Although I began this yoga journey more consciously about eight months ago I have chosen to step on the path of making it more of a presence in all aspects of my life.
With this, I know I am going to have to let go of a way I have lived for about the past five years. Coming to terms with this is not difficult for me because I am more then happy to dive fully into a yogic lifestyle; however, my demons have been more present recently trying to claim me as their property. I have surrendered to their anger but am now just choosing to sit on an equal level with them… soon enough they will become frustrated and dissipate. Strength does not come from a physical power, it is the ability to be humble and honest with yourself and others.
The demise of our world today is the unconsciousness people choose to walk around with on a daily basis. No one really wants to dive into themselves to see the gross, dark component that makes up a small portion of each and every one of us. I do not care how nice and pure of a human you think you are, it lives there and it is fear holding you back from exposing something that could be life-changing.
If we all fear change, we will never move forward and if we don’t move forward we will never learn to love ourself and without self love we can not love one another as a whole. Once love for self exists, compassion follows and with this we are able to understand our purpose and this purpose is as simple as being able to live in peace amongst one another on this beautiful Earth.
If you are looking to deepen your relationships and learn the basics of authentic communication (with yourself and others) take a look at this online course – Transformative Communication – an easy and life-enhancing approach for better relationships.
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